I didn’t sleep enough for the first few years in New York, and my pants grew by two sizes. Even though I didn’t eat much, I walked everywhere, practiced yoga daily, and my work required me to move constantly, I gained weight. I felt out of sorts even when I was living my dream. I was in New York. I loved it. I had a great job, working as a waitress at a high-end Upper East Side restaurant. With all this, I still often felt lousy. I think it was half diet and half poor sleep habits. I’d been a good sleeper before, now it seemed as if I cultivated insomnia. The lack of sleep hurt.

What’s the thing most of us need more of? I know you’re thinking cake. Close, but wrong. The answer is sleep. Most Americans are seriously sleep-deprived. It’s a national epidemic. It’s killing us. This is not hyperbole. Sleep is the solution to almost any problem. It’s nearly impossible to heal yourself without sleep. As a former insomniac, I can tell you with absolute certainty, you need sleep. Personally, I need eight hours of sleep. I love to sleep, and a bad night wrecks me. It jacks my digestion. I’m clumsier, my skin looks rough and tired, and everything seems to hurt more. Nowadays, I often sleep well. It wasn’t always that way. As I may have mentioned, I used to be an insomniac. If I scored six hours of sleep, it was a miracle. 

To be fair, back in the day, my insomnia was partly due to my work schedule and New York lifestyle, with late-night meals and drinks, and partly to anxiety. I felt on edge for no particular reason most of the time. I was frequently sick with digestive issues, my skin lost its luster, my mood was erratic, and my creative output was less than ideal. I rediscovered sleep around the same time I changed my diet and lifestyle. It took practice but I was able to change my sleep habits.

Since I know sleep is too important to jeopardize, these days I’m the condom to fun. The brakes to anyone who’s putting their foot on the gas, turning off lights at 9:30 p.m., urging everyone home. For me, the perfect evening out begins at 6 p.m. and ends at 8 p.m. I’m fun, well, kind of fun in a very limited way. Even if I’m considered a party pooper, I don’t really care. Fun is overrated; I’d rather get a good night’s sleep. Once you know the scary side effects of long-term loss of sleep, you’ll want seven or eight hours of cell-restoring slumber too. I used to be the quintessential New Yorker, bragging about how little sleep I got. In New York, there was a fair amount of one-up-man-ship when it came to sleep. Less meant you were stronger, more savage, willing to do whatever it took. Every Wall Streeter, actor, and creative type bragged about how little they needed. Up at 4 a.m., powering through the day till the wee hours of the next morning. While I wasn’t making millions on Wall Street, I certainly matched them in a lack of sleep. We were all sleep-deprived and aging rapidly. 

Thanks to work that just won’t quit, smartphones, too-bright lights, and screens that never turn off, we’re in the midst of a catastrophic sleep-loss epidemic. We’re anxious, lonely, depressed, and we’re chronically sleep-deprived. Our collective habits seem specially designed to disrupt our natural biorhythms and sleep cycle. We drink too much coffee, all the time. Most Americans drink too much alcohol. Booze is a sleep disrupter. More than two drinks, I sleep less deeply, less soundly. Even when that third, fourth drink tempts me, I abstain because I know, I mean I know, how low I’ll feel the next day. Depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness, booze and coffee (energy drinks and caffeinated soft drinks) are enemies of sleep. Sleep deprivation exacerbates depression. Why are we anxious, sad, and depressed? Inflammation. Bringing us full circle, back to diet and lifestyle. What are we eating? How are we living? Sleep is a crucial part of that how-we-live question. Without sleep, days are lackluster and low-energy. We’re more susceptible to disease. 

I don’t want to scare you and make you feel guilty if you’re not sleeping well. A good night’s sleep can be a really, really difficult thing. For most of us, better sleep doesn’t take a miracle, just practice, a little effort, and a schedule. 

Improve the quality of your sleep by following these tips: 

1. Make time. Carve out eight non-negotiable hours every night. (When you go to sleep depends on your own biorhythms. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Work as best you can with your internal circadian rhythm.) 
2. Dark room. Sleep in a dark room, no electronics around. We are a dark-deprived society, and it’s affecting our sleep. Dim the lights in your house as sleep approaches, even when you eat dinner, dim the lights. (Plus, low light is just good style and a better vibe.) 
3. Regularity. Go to bed and wake up at the same time, no matter if you’ve had a good or bad sleep. 
4. Stay cool. Keep it around 68 °F or cooler, if you can. Your body needs to drop its temperature in order to sleep. (Don’t eat close to bedtime, it disrupts sleep by raising your body temperature. A new study finds that calorie restriction, by about fifteen percent can increase longevity in large part because you sleep better due to a small but significant drop in night-time body temperature.)
5. Meditate. If you can’t sleep, meditate. Don’t stay in bed if you’ve been awake for a while. The brain learns to associate bed with sleep and if you toss and turn all night, your bed is associated with that.
6. Limit alcohol and caffeine. No caffeine after 2 p.m. Alcohol – skip it or limit yourself to one or two drinks and avoid it three hours before sleep. My rule of thumb is to drink before and with dinner, nothing after, and I often eat three to four hours before bed. No wild partying, I know, but I sleep better. This routine works for me. Design a daily routine that best supports a full night’s sleep. 
7. No drugs. Avoid sleep medication. Sedation is not sleeping. It doesn’t give you the restorative benefits of sleep. Some studies show they MAY be linked to early deaths and cancer. Again, sleeping pills don’t help. Try the non-pharmaceutical approach, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). It improves sleep in seventy to eighty percent of patients. Unlike sleeping pills, this therapy lasts. 

On a personal level, I like certain supplements. They really help me fall asleep and stay there. They only seem to work, however, if I adhere to my sleep routine. They’re not magic, just high-quality supplements. My sleep support includes L-theanine, GABA, passion flower (Passiflora), and melatonin. Becoming a good sleeper requires diligence, especially if you have habits that don’t support sleep. 

Exercise: Record of Rest

Whether you sleep well or not, it can be useful to keep a sleep diary for two weeks. It gives you insight into your patterns. If nothing else you learn a little more about who you are. 

Every morning for the next fourteen days write down in your new sleep diary the answers to these questions: 

1. What time did you go to bed? 
2. How long did it take to fall asleep?
3. How many times did you wake up during the night? 
4. What time did you leave the bed in the morning? 
5. How many caffeinated beverages did you consume during the day?
6. How many alcoholic beverages did you drink? 
7. What medications or supplements did you take?
8. How much did you exercise? 
9. What did you do the hour before bed? 

Once the two weeks are over, you should have a clearer sense of your daily habits are most affecting your sleep. 

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